Yanina Latorre’s World Cup: Messi village version, the goal as an orgasm and the day I was caught by La Scaloneta

we beat Holland and we are in the semifinals, so today is the column of total happiness. At least until we face Croatia at 4 in the afternoon, this World Cup gives you no rest to be happy.

My God, what suffering against Queen Máxima’s country! However, I don’t know if it happens to them: there is a morbidity in suffering. It’s as if you enjoy the victory more, celebrate it with more enthusiasm. And how we celebrate! Oh, the quilombos that this match against the Dutch has left… Let’s go by parts because today I take care of everyone.

Van Gallove of my life, how can you think to tell Messi that when Argentina has no ball, they play with one man down? I was talking about it with Diego (my husband, the second person who knows the most about football at home) and we think that Van Gaal is not a provocateur, the boy is like that. He has another mind, northern European, cold, he hates players like Messi or Riquelme. He is a type of tactic, not inspiration or creation. The type indoctrinates and Messi is not indoctrinable, he is the 1 for this reason. Was that clear to you, Luisito?

What is Messi playing, please… And not only with the ball. Whores the referee, Topo Gigio does to Van Gaal, jumps for his teammates. The “What are you looking at, bobo…” is already the phrase of the year. I ask, how can there be people who criticize him? Before they called him “cold-chested” because he didn’t sing the anthem, now a Dutchman got pissed and they call him “vulgar”. what a toupee The boy’s blood runs through his veins, it’s the adrenaline of the game, they live it like this. And that’s something sportswriters will never understand or hear because they’ve never walked onto a field. My loves, respect Messi’s talent and passion. He is the most Maradonian Messi he has ever seen, as Valdano said. And I love it.

This version of village messi fascinates me. I feel like she’s always had it, but now she’s more comfortable than her with showing it. Her reaction was perfectly normal. All gamers get horny, I married one who was awful. One day he did the mambo and grabbed his nose screaming a goal Mouth. It happens that Macri had sold it to racing and didn’t want him to play against his former club; What no one knows is that I advised him to do it. I understand that the Boca people are offended but for me it was great. It’s that the moment of the goal is like an orgasm, and that’s where everything comes out, the beautiful, the ugly, the scream.

I continue to do the cabal: against Holland I saw him at my friend Andrea Bursten’s house, in Capital, because at 7 in the afternoon I had to go to the canal to conduct LAM. So I prayed they didn’t bind us to qualify for the semi-finals, but also because I would be very late for work, which ended up happening. Putting together a World Cup in December is absolute chaos for everyone, isn’t it? When we want to realize it, it’s 12 and let’s toast to 2023 with the little music of Qatar 2022.

But back to the Netherlands, what a crazy game… I don’t know what happened to Argentina in the 1-0 draw, it was like I let go and pissed myself. Has this ever happened to you? I was jumping like crazy and started to feel like I was being pecked, but I was so happy I didn’t stop and just kept going and going. disgusting Anyway, first I screamed out the window like crazy and then I went to the bathroom to quickly clean up and change because the game was on.

The worst came later. When they put us at 1-2, I started having a really bad time; I paced, yelled, cursed, writhed on the bed. And there was no drama. Now that we’re all calmer, I ask, why the hell did they give 10 minutes of addition? That bastard referee, who wants to be the protagonist, liked the camera more than a participant Big Brother… And the tie came, I almost died. What I take away from all this is how well the team recovered, because they had already won the game and because of that caught referee they had to row again. In extra time we deserved to win but we had to go to penalties.

I’ll tell you what, I think I’ll lose 10 kilos per game from how bad I’ve been. I said it is Dibu Martínez, which is all that is good in the world. He saved two penalties, complained to everyone, danced, hugged his teammates, thanked the psychologist, all together, in Spanish and English… Dibu, I love you. Two other players I want to highlight are Rodrigo De Paulwho has played injured and has left his heart in every ball since Enzo Fernández that they put him in any position and that he always plays well, that just makes him a crack.

Well here we are. We have reached the last week, I think we have reached the goal we set ourselves before starting this World Cup, but we always want more. We are like that.

Now comes Croatia (another thing would have been against Brazil, let’s face it, it’s a good thing they stayed out). But Croatia must be respected, let’s not fall into Van Gaal’s shoes: they have Modric, who is a genius, with a history of victories that I adore (how involved I am in the World Cup, please). If you ask me, I have a lot of faith in Messi, in the team and in Scaloni, this group of the national team is the best thing that has happened to Argentina in a long time. Let’s keep believing it, we’ll make it, two small steps left… In a few days we’ll read each other again, may he be with us to continue with this beautiful illusion.