What drives a spectator to be aggressive with a referee?

Radio-Canada Sports spoke with Dr. Nicolas Chevrier, psychologist, to try to understand what can cause some to act aggressively, even irrationally, and how situations like last weekend between an assistant referee minor and a spectators at a soccer game in Dollard -des -Ormeaux can be avoided.

Q. What could explain that a soccer match between minor children can cause this type of explosion?

A. First, there is the question about the emotional investment that one can have in general in the sport. We see this in hooliganism in Europe. We see this to a certain extent here in the Montreal Canadiens. There are certain emotional investments that are not always negative, which can make us experience pleasant emotions.

We saw it last summer, we experienced great emotions [quand le CH a atteint la finale de la Coupe Stanley]. It was very pleasant for everyone. Then we experienced less positive emotions [quand il a perdu en finale]but until then, still sport.

We live emotions through sport and it’s so much fun. What we experienced last weekend was something strange, somewhat problematic, that we discuss further: the behavior of parents about the sport that children do and the behavior that they do as a spectator. .

I think the first important thing is to ask yourself: how do we see sport in our child’s life? Do we see this as something positive, something that will lead to the development of certain skills in our child, such as learning to manage failure, working with our teammates, learning to provide effort?

All of these skills we develop in the sport are, I think, the essence of the activity. But, unfortunately, some people see it in a more competitive, performance spirit.

There is also a whole trend in our society that values ​​performance and influences the perspective of some parents. Instead of seeing the kids having fun, it’s more about “my son against your son”, “my team against your team”. The competitive aspect becomes very important.

Often, psychologists will say that the child is the narcissistic extension of the person. We want to protect him. When extension is threatened, we can feel a very strong emotional charge and we will see behaviors like this.

Q. Can it lead to irrational behavior?

A. Clear. At times like this, anger can be replaced. We always keep in mind that anger is an emotion that gives us the illusion of regaining control in a situation.

When you feel like you are losing control of a situation, there are many ways you can get it back. Anger seems to be the last resort. When we feel there is nothing we can do, anger will give us the illusion of regaining control. Up to a certain point, there are chances that it is appropriate.

In this situation, it is clearly not appropriate. In this situation, the viewer feels angry. Often it is related to the perception that the situation has hurt us or has done some harm to us. We can feel a certain intentionality, then a sense of injustice.

The situation seems to be different. This often happens in arbitration because it is not an exact science. We have rules and we interpret them best on the different parameters we have: what we see, what happens in front of us, our experience as a referee. This is far from exact science. From there, there are injustices in refereeing, many in sport and more in professional sport, so this is to be expected.

If we find out that there is evil on the child’s side, a certain intentionality and an unfair situation, these are the three elements that in our perception can cause a rapid increase in anger.

Q. Why are we talking here about lack of control?

A. I’ve been to diamond arenas and baseball before. People react to what is happening on earth.

They have little control over what happens on the pitch. When you’re sitting on the stand, all you can do is shout or complain a little to your neighbor. An important element that must be put in context is that in this case, we are talking about referees, and it is very important to do so, but it will not stop with the referees.

We have all seen people shouting at their own child from the stands. We agree that this is really harmful for the child. But it shows that the parent is in the mode where he wants to control, he doesn’t know how to control and he feels he will have control over speaking out loud and shouting.

Q. How can such behaviors be avoided?

A. There will probably be a section for leagues. I think the leagues are finding this to be very problematic. Psychologically, when we want to neutralize problematic behaviors, one of the techniques we use is to personify people.

We do this in the context of racism, for example, when there is intolerance. This is also done in the case of road rage. It’s not the same conception we might have if we think of the car in front of us which cuts our way, than if we knew it was a father with his three children.

Going through humanization, among other matters of arbitration, can be a good strategy. I don’t know how we can do it. Perhaps the idea is to introduce the referees at the beginning of a match, as we do with teams: give their first name, their age.

Let’s say we know that the assistant referee is called Raphaël, 14, and this is his seventh game today. So far, shouting at Raphaël, 14, is not the same as shouting the judge.

The personality of people, often, psychologically, will bring a different perspective, an effect also of the majority. When one parent loses control and stands up, perhaps other parents will say: Wait there, he’s 14 years old. Stay seated. That, that, might help to remember that they’re not just referees, they’re young people too.

Of course, as parents, when we know we are in danger of such behavior, it is important to recognize the warning signs.

Anger is like a thermometer. Slowly raise the thermometer. When we get to 6/10, we should be able to write our thoughts. Determine when it’s time to go for a walk to decompress.

Our child does not need us when he is playing. By withdrawing, we protect ourselves and those around us.