Phrases to avoid in a couple’s argument, according to psychologists

THE couple discussion, contrary to what it seems, is a symptom of a healthy relationship. As long as respect is maintained between both parties.

This kind of exchanges are necessary and require learning. “THE couples They are made up of people, who, despite having many things in common, there are also differences“says relationship psychologist Sebastián Girona.

AS You can’t help but fight, since it is inherent in the bond, it is necessary try to do it in the best possible way possible. There are unfortunate phrases that only make the situation worse, avoiding saying them could save us a lot of trouble.

What are the phrases you should avoid saying in an argument with your partner?

Experts say there are some phrases or expressions that couples should not say during an argument.

• “You look like your mom/dad”: Marriage therapist Winifred M. Reilly explains that comparing the other person to a parent can be a way to deflect the topic of the argument and deal a blow to the person’s self-esteem.
• “You always” and “Never”: Kier Gaines, a couples therapist in Washington, D.C., noted that this phrase will make your partner defensive, as it reflects extremes. It is important to focus on the problem at hand and not on previous ones. “When you go back in time, the conversation becomes something else,” he added.

• “Yes but…”: The psychologist of the Family Institute of Northwestern University and author of the book “Love Every Day”, Alexandra Salomon, said she often hears this phrase during couple conflicts and added that this word can mean that the person superficially recognizes the concern of the other .
• “You’re exaggerating”: Solomon states that no person is “a model of emotional responses,” since no one can determine what reactions are appropriate in others. However, this phrase can be used to avoid taking responsibility for our actions. The right thing in these situations would be, according to the psychologist, to say: “Okay, I’m listening. Tell me more, help me understand.”

• “Take it easy”: Wonbin Jung, a Silicon Valley therapist who specializes in therapy for LGBTQ couples, said that using this phrase prompts your partner to take things slowly about something that’s bothering them. “It’s like pouring oil on a fire. It’s also: ‘You’re crazy.’”