They have become unbearable: nine great songs that should die in peace

Always there’s a radio station determined to make your existence miserable. These are problems that slowly, and for some reason, have become unbearable. Songs passed down to posterity, but that Today you listen to them and, for some other reason, they sound (all!) like Macarena. Why nine and not ten? Just because.

We’ll talk about it Overused hits that have aged poorly, with the smell of mothballs. Examples that can always be improved: Radio Gaga, Harlem Shuffle, Stairway to Heaven. Bands like Queen, Beatles, Rolling Stones. Uffff…

It’s like this, or are there immortal songs? “I don’t think we’ll touch it again for a while,” Chris Martin said purple hill. And she said it on one of those nights when Coldplay played in Buenos Aires. Those of A-ha, with Face methey should learn or strangle themselves with a varicose vein.

The most recent example of collapse hit is Despacito. We think that in 2017, when it was published, its psychological effects were even studied. Suddenly we stopped listening to it. On the radio, on records, on platforms, at weddings.

The conflict hypothesis takes us back to Lambada. What was the lambada? Rhythm or song? Faced with this dance of Brazilian origin characterized by his sensual character, Sol Pérez, tanned and wearing Texan boots, looks like a graduate of the Sacred Heart.

Ok, let’s proceed one at a time, without the order of the factors altering the product.

Rock and Roll all night (kiss)

Kiss continued to play it as a closer to his umpteenth songs AND chalchalericas farewell tour. They probably still do it with holograms. Song for presidential spokesmen in their spare time. Just thinking about its chorus comes to mind the plastered choreography of Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. We used to love it, but that’s a long time ago.

Now you might be wondering where the bad reputation of the group that trampled girls went. With every new listen Rock and Roll all night, Kiss and Maná look more and more alike.

Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)

Assuming that one bad Zeppelin song is worth more than the entire Whitesnake and Aerosmith songbooks combined, the beat of trap, Netflix and junk food, Stairway to Heaven’s situation was getting worse. It’s as if we were no longer available as before: listening to it is unbearably solemn and demanding. More than a song, a moral reserve.

Won’t it have a satanic or vegan message? stairway to Heaven? Isn’t that how we can listen to it backwards? Even Robert Plant got tired of the topic. It was probably because the British band was sued for alleged plagiarism. Maybe you don’t hate it because it’s like water and no one hates water. Nobody even wants a glass of water.

Pride (in the name of love), U2

Actually you can apply for any bonus theme and your own. Nobody listens to U2 anymore. Not even Nick Cave. Their songs arouse fewer feelings than those of an AI girlfriend. Willy Crook said it: “If Sumo had been born in London, the world would be listening to Sumo and not U2. “U2 is more boring than an elevator without mirrors”

Is there anything worse than U2? Yes, listening to it with people who like U2. Also, Bono and his rock pontiff face. Do you know why he has no enemies? Because he was never handsome. Now let’s close our eyes and think back to the singer, to that increasingly grim, melodramatic and utilitarian gesture. Noble causes cause chaos. They say Bono will write a song about lithium privatization. Zzzzz…

Radio Ga Ga (Queen)

There are people who remember having spent the worst night of their life dancing Radio ga ga. The case of Queen is strange: a great band that fared badly in the ’80s. As if Freddy Mercury had been told: Which, shows your weirder side and then this came out grotesque bowling pace and choir that puts you in a bad mood. So disturbing that Mercury – and not just in his clothing – was mistaken for one of the Village People.

Harlem Shuffle (Rolling Stones)

We know the Stones are a great (blues) band. The Beatles had the good idea of ​​finishing early, but if they had stayed together they would have also done a Harlem Shuffle. Routine, old-fashioned, monotonous. Band dedicated to the Book of Records with a strong sense of continuity and history. On top of that, Jagger never went bald. Or at least skinheads.

The Stones are Tehuelches at heart. An indigenous and nomadic people. Listening to them means understanding that rock, ultimately, is nothing more than a conservative movement.

Chiquitita (ABBA)

If you want shorar, shora. Little girl: Christmas song sound. Ideal for holding a baseball bat. There is an Andean version that allows you to practice your favorite repertoire of insults. Listening to ABBA is like listening to Van Gogh’s ear. Because the subject is so boring, sometimes you feel sad and it makes you feel like a better person. Ideal tune for people who post food dishes on Instagram. Or that he worked in a parripollo.

Yesterday (The Beatles)

Yesterday He insisted on depressing people of different generations. They say Prozac was invented thanks to her. What is the point of listening? Yesterday more than 50 years after its creation? Think about increasing advance payments. There is an antidote: put Yesterday Then Miss Lizzy feels dizzy.

Paul McCartney made it at 23, but he talked about the past as if it had been Mirtha Legrand. It seems like she didn’t know what to do with so much life. She is now over 80 years old. She has lived more than twice as long John Lennon. If you have to listen to it, It is advisable to take a deep breath, think about Byzantine art and meekly surrender to passive resistance.

Smoke on the water (deep purple)

That of Smoke on the water It’s a riff that Duki can play too. Equivalent to rock’s happy birthday. Like Mickey Mouse, it should be in the public domain by now. Without a doubt all this makes him sadly immortal. Above you can “smoke” the video in which Richie Blackmore explains where the melodic line that identifies the theme comes from. You know what? She took it from the 5th Symphony of Beethoven, but in reverse. Hearing this in 2024 is annoying.

Light My Fire (The Doors)

Music for people who like to feel ordinary. At first listening to the Doors was like experiencing a drug. Three songs in a row and you felt like a member of the Manson Clan. There are already grandmothers who tell you how he used to make fun of them Jim Morrisonguy Justin Bieber of his generation. light My Fire It is the favorite topic of the spoiled and the spoiled who at 12 years old were already traveling first class.