Four years after Toresani’s death, his son Lautaro reminds Clarín of him: “I would tell him I forgive him”

The one who speaks on the other end of the phone and from Italy is Lautaro31 years old, the eldest son of Julius Caesar Toresani. He Eggthat former footballer remembered and loved with passes through Boca, River, Independiente, Colón and Unión, among other teams, who became famous in the 90s for having fought (and befriended) with Diego Maradona. And that exactly 4 years ago she made the decision to take her own life.

Toresani committed suicide at dawn on April 22, 2019, in his native Santa Fe, immersed in a deep depression. A couple of weeks ago she had had a first failed attempt, when a gastric pump saved him from a combination of pills. He had separated from his second wife and had been expelled from a Uruguayan team where he only remained as DT for a couple of months after a fight with a coach.

He had no job, was in psychiatric care and lived with a friend. His economic situation wasn’t ideal but what struck him the most was that football didn’t give him a hand. He didn’t want to use his contacts, didn’t even ask for help.

Four years later, Lautaro recounts that typical autumn morning in the capital, grey, cold and rainy. He had just arrived at work and it was his sister who called him to tell him the news. He didn’t need to say anything, his crying on the other end of the line made him “drop the chip”, as he describes himself that awful feeling that runs through your body from time to time.

“Remembering the old is a pleasure”replied on Instagram to clarion from Ancona, a city located in the center of Italy, on the coast of the Adriatic Sea. He got there a year ago, he left his job in a social work and went in search of new horizons, “from scratch”, like many others. He too had a hard time. He has recently obtained citizenship and is excited to find a job now that he is approaching summer in those latitudes. Meanwhile, he did small “apartment painting” jobs and showed his love of baseball, playing in a local league or teaching a small school.

“I unplugged my sister’s phone and got into a taxi to go home. They broke the news on the radio and the driver told me about my father. it looked like a movie, I was like gone, I needed to be with my family. I’m the eldest and I had to deal with all the paperwork, it was all very difficult, it took me a while to grieve”.

Being the son of a footballer means following the progress of your shirts, and Lautaro’s life took place between Santa Fe and Buenos Aires, with a brief spell in Chile. “I think we had the happiest moment of his stay at Boca . My old man took me to train, we took the field with him. That phase was the one I liked the most. I could hear what he was transmitting to the fans, I liked seeing it from the eyes of a boy, who ask him for autographs I’m from Boca, like all my family.”

But to speak of Toresani is also to speak of Maradona thanks to that legendary fight in a Boca – Colón, which led to a historic phrase by Diego: “Segurola and Havana, 4310 7th floor, and let’s see if it lasts 30 seconds”thundered the one with the yellow padlock from the Bombonera locker room. Later they became such friends that 10 asked him for the Xeneize. And after the death of Egg he recorded a video lamenting his departure.

“My old man had a very special personality, he died alone. If he saw an injustice, he would tell you. It was a time when it was frowned upon to argue with some people but he would never shut up. “. He had that personality and he died like that, never changing. This is what I get from him. That way of being made him argue with Diego, he didn’t care that it was Maradona. Then they became good friends, it almost took him to Dorados, the story could have been different for my old man.”

In 2019, Diego said goodbye to the Egg with a message: “I hope the children have the same heart as the father.”

“Yes, Diego said so. My old man was a Boca player, but I think what Diego liked the most was that that day when they fought he didn’t care about anything and he defended his, that personality. He fascinated him and a year later he loved him, he asked about Boca,” says Lautaro.

That quarrel with Diego in October 1995 ended thanks to the intervention of a character of whom there was no trace until today, almost 30 years later, thanks to the testimony of Lautaro: Daniele Alberto Passarella.

“We talked many times about the fight. My old man wanted to go and fight him, he told me that it was Daniel Passarella who intervened there and told him not to continue with that. Passarella had had him as a coach at River and knew him, the he said he was about to enter a quilombo, people complained about him when he arrived at Boca but he conquered the fans with his way of playing, he always told me he should never have left Boca, he was one of the most no regrets. Bianchi finished first and was champion of everything”.

Lautaro talks about his father and mentions him in the present. Or he says “lately” when he recounts the events prior to that April 2019, as if the time of his words were still standing there.

“You learn to live with pain. I keep what I was as a father, husband and friend. The values ​​he passed on to me. He was a cheerful person and tried to help everyone out.. He helped everyone and I’m sure he lost a lot of what he earned in his football days for being so generous. I don’t know if what I feel is anger but when he needed a rope they turned their backs on him. For me it is present every day of my life, I often dream about it”.

Toresani’s son doesn’t want to talk about the culprits; he has learned to accept that the decision was his father’s. Of course, it is clear that there were people who could have done more to help him. He says he brought a draft to Colón “but they didn’t give him a ball”. Also that they called him to be on TV as a speaker for an important program but he escaped the cameras.

“My old man was a person who, even if he was dead inside, always pushed forward, said that life had to be lived, joked. He gave no sign of what he ended up doing. He was a bit sad, he was closed, it was difficult for him to ask for help and that is not good. A couple of weeks before he took any pills, he was bathed and a doctor friend of his began treating him. Everything was fine. But I feel that when someone makes a decision, no one finds out. He gave the image that everything was fine. I take care of my side but it was his life, he was a great person, it wasn’t in his head. Yes, today I tell you that I would have done something else. I felt guilty for a long time.”

Lautaro recalls his last conversation with Julio César. She went to see him in that final resting place, improvised for marital reasons. They drank mate, made jokes, laughed and ran away for a while from that delicate moment that the former footballer was going through.

“I didn’t see any hints or signs of anything. He always said the same thing to me when we said goodbye, he said ‘Son, I love you’. I remember that day we gave each other a big hug and we agreed to see each other but it was there last time I saw him.

Although Toresani was said to have left letters, Lautaro says his father left nothing. ‘I wanted there to be a few letters but there wasn’t anything, I would have liked it. I take that as another folly on his part. I reckon he’ll regret it when the time comes.’

“I accept it but I don’t understand it. I look for things, opportunities. My old man had a very high life. He was famous, people recognized him. There are people who, when that celebrity fades, feel empty. I looked for him from that part, no I say I agree with his decision, of course not, but I understand the emptiness he must have felt. I remain calm because I was able to enjoy the time he had, and also because I can say that he had a very happy life.. It was only this last time that it fell apart a bit. I stay with his values, with his will to live and move forward, even if it seems crazy.

Finally, one last question: if you could say anything to the old man, what would it be?

“When you grow up, it takes time to have a friendly relationship with your parents. And today I feel like I’d like to have a chat like this with him, drinking mate, and talking about everything, without shame. I’d like to ask him things, get to know him more. I feel that this is a debt that remains with me… And one last thing, I would like to tell you that I forgive you. That I love him and forgive him, that’s what I would tell him.”